God is good! Don't you ever forget that! :)
Monday, August 29, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Creatures I Found on my Lawn Today
First,
Second,
Second,
Yes, they are both living. It's so fun to live in the woods!
Friday, August 12, 2011
Caught In the Middle
Today is one of those days when I feel weak and overwhelmed. Today I also had one of those moments when I looked over a list of names and felt hopeless. It is that familiar struggle that I call "caught in the middle."
What triggered it was, first of all, seeing that many of the people who started with me at Plante & Moran have now made associates. That got me wonder what life would be like from the world's point of view had I not quit my job two years ago. At the very minimum, I wouldn't have so much explaining to do, like the one that I had to do earlier tonight (which is another event that triggered my struggle). I bumped into this Taiwanese woman whom I've met three years ago when she was still a student. We got talking about our jobs, and when I told her that I had quit being a CPA to work for a Christian organization on campus, she said "..but don't you get paid much less now than you did before?" Yes, I said. "Then why did you do it?" My initial reaction was to secretly judge her for saying such material thing, but at the same time, that did shake my already weakened heart. Why did I do it? I gave her an answer, but the question lingered in my heart. I know why I did it. That is, I can tell you the exact events, thoughts, emotions, divine intervention and Bible passages that played into this decision. But today, I didn't know it like I knew it back then.
It's a lack of trust really. It's losing sight of the reality of the other side of heaven. I am caught in the middle. I have seen glimpses of the other side of heaven, and that's what compelled me and guided me to where I am today, yet there are moments when this side of heaven is so real that the other side seems like a dream.
Ironically, this is also when I am super thankful for the kind of God I serve. He is faithful and trustworthy, and even at times when I doubt, He does not doubt. He knows. Fully. Always. And nothing I do or say or question can shake Him or catch Him by surprise.
He is not caught in the middle. He is the complete reality.
What triggered it was, first of all, seeing that many of the people who started with me at Plante & Moran have now made associates. That got me wonder what life would be like from the world's point of view had I not quit my job two years ago. At the very minimum, I wouldn't have so much explaining to do, like the one that I had to do earlier tonight (which is another event that triggered my struggle). I bumped into this Taiwanese woman whom I've met three years ago when she was still a student. We got talking about our jobs, and when I told her that I had quit being a CPA to work for a Christian organization on campus, she said "..but don't you get paid much less now than you did before?" Yes, I said. "Then why did you do it?" My initial reaction was to secretly judge her for saying such material thing, but at the same time, that did shake my already weakened heart. Why did I do it? I gave her an answer, but the question lingered in my heart. I know why I did it. That is, I can tell you the exact events, thoughts, emotions, divine intervention and Bible passages that played into this decision. But today, I didn't know it like I knew it back then.
It's a lack of trust really. It's losing sight of the reality of the other side of heaven. I am caught in the middle. I have seen glimpses of the other side of heaven, and that's what compelled me and guided me to where I am today, yet there are moments when this side of heaven is so real that the other side seems like a dream.
Ironically, this is also when I am super thankful for the kind of God I serve. He is faithful and trustworthy, and even at times when I doubt, He does not doubt. He knows. Fully. Always. And nothing I do or say or question can shake Him or catch Him by surprise.
He is not caught in the middle. He is the complete reality.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Change
Six weeks, 200+ people, intense Bible courses and training, living in the dorm, eating at a cafeteria, and homework or games every night. How much can one person change after going through all that? I am not sure.
In a sense, I hope that I was changed by all this. It would be kind of pathetic to spend all that time and energy without seeing any growth. However, part of me is scared to find that out when I get back to my usual habitat. It's scary to be the only person who seems to have changed in your usual environment. But then, I guess we are all constantly changing as surely as time goes by.
How do you know that you've changed? And how do you know that it's a good change?
In a sense, I hope that I was changed by all this. It would be kind of pathetic to spend all that time and energy without seeing any growth. However, part of me is scared to find that out when I get back to my usual habitat. It's scary to be the only person who seems to have changed in your usual environment. But then, I guess we are all constantly changing as surely as time goes by.
How do you know that you've changed? And how do you know that it's a good change?
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