What to Do With Loneliness

As I mentioned on Plurk, I read this chapter in a book by Elisabeth Elloit talking about dealing with loneliness. It's chapter 17 in the book called Passion & Purity - Learning to Bring Your Love Life Under Christ's Control. What To Do With Loneliness is the title of that chapter, where I found the following gem:

• Be still and know that He is God. When you are lonely, too much stillness is exactly the thing that seems to be laying waste your soul. Use that stillness to quiet your heart before God. Get to know Him. If He is God, He is still in charge.
• Remember that you are not alone. "The Lord, He it is that doth go with thee. He will not fail thee neither forsake thee. Be strong and of good courage." (Deut. 31:8) Jesus promised His disciples, "Lo, I am with you always." (Matt. 28:20) Never mind if you cannot feel His presence. He is there, never for one moment forgetting you.
• Give thanks. In times of my greatest loneliness I have been lifted up by the promise of II Corinthians 4:17, 18, "For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, because we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen." This is something to thank God for. This loneliness itself, which seems a weight, will be far outweighed by glory.
• Refuse self-pity. Refuse it absolutely. It is a deadly thing with power to destroy you. Turn your thoughts to Christ who has already carried your griefs and sorrows.
• Accept your loneliness. It is one stage, and only one stage, on a journey that brings you to God. It will not always last.
• Offer up your loneliness to God, as the little boy offered to Jesus his five loaves and two fishes. God can transform it for the good of others.
• Do something for somebody else. No matter who or where you are, there is something you can do, somebody who needs you. Pray that you may be an instrument of God's peace, that where there is loneliness you may bring joy.

She then went on talking about her personal story with her husband Jim Elliot, in which she quoted Jim's letter to her, "Let not our longing slay the appetite of our living." Wow. Hello? Jim, are you speaking to me? I totally know what he meant when you long for something so badly, that you feel like there's nothing to life other than endless longings and this emptiness of not getting the thing you want. But is that something that you long for really all life's about? Any fool can answer no to that question! Well, any fool but me. At that time, at least. I think I knew deep down that I was in this self-pitying black hole and that I should focus more on what I had instead of focusing on what I didn't, but the way Jim Elliot put it totally pointed out the ridiculous contradiction I put myself in. In the core of my longings for love and companion lies a heart aching to be alive and joyful and to have an abundant life. However, by indulging myself in uncontrolled and mis-targeted longings, I kept waiting to "start living again" when my longings are fulfilled. Well, if I was waiting and not starting to live, it's almost as if I was dying. That didn't do me any good in reaching my ultimate goal - be alive, joyful and abundant, did it? There! Simple logic can prove what a fool I was, but emotions aren't exactly always logical, are they? If only we could rationalize with our emotions! Praise God, because He does have the power (doh!) to redirect the desires of our hearts to be in sync with His, if we so choose to seek Him and yield to Him.

So, do I still feel lonely? All the time. Will I think of how pity I am again? Probably, but I am going to remember that He is God, and what a fool I would be to stay in this contradiction. Well, at least the hand-written notes of the above citation on the wall next to my desk will remind me to.