God is good!

God is good! Don't you ever forget that! :)  

Creatures I Found on my Lawn Today

First,

Second,

Yes, they are both living. It's so fun to live in the woods!

Caught In the Middle

Today is one of those days when I feel weak and overwhelmed.  Today I also had one of those moments when I looked over a list of names and felt hopeless. It is that familiar struggle that I call "caught in the middle."

What triggered it was, first of all, seeing that many of the people who started with me at Plante & Moran have now made associates.  That got me wonder what life would be like from the world's point of view had I not quit my job two years ago.  At the very minimum, I wouldn't have so much explaining to do, like the one that I had to do earlier tonight (which is another event that triggered my struggle).  I bumped into this Taiwanese woman whom I've met three years ago when she was still a student.  We got talking about our jobs, and when I told her that I had quit being a CPA to work for a Christian organization on campus, she said "..but don't you get paid much less now than you did before?" Yes, I said.  "Then why did you do it?"  My initial reaction was to secretly judge her for saying such material thing, but at the same time, that did shake my already weakened heart.  Why did I do it? I gave her an answer, but the question lingered in my heart.  I know why I did it.  That is, I can tell you the exact events, thoughts, emotions, divine intervention and Bible passages that played into this decision.  But today, I didn't know it like I knew it back then.

It's a lack of trust really. It's losing sight of the reality of the other side of heaven. I am caught in the middle.  I have seen glimpses of the other side of heaven, and that's what compelled me and guided me to where I am today, yet there are moments when this side of heaven is so real that the other side seems like a dream.

Ironically, this is also when I am super thankful for the kind of God I serve.  He is faithful and trustworthy, and even at times when I doubt, He does not doubt. He knows. Fully. Always. And nothing I do or say or question can shake Him or catch Him by surprise.

He is not caught in the middle.  He is the complete reality.

Change

Six weeks, 200+ people, intense Bible courses and training, living in the dorm, eating at a cafeteria, and homework or games every night.  How much can one person change after going through all that? I am not sure.

In a sense, I hope that I was changed by all this.  It would be kind of pathetic to spend all that time and energy without seeing any growth.  However, part of me is scared to find that out when I get back to my usual habitat.  It's scary to be the only person who seems to have changed in your usual environment.  But then, I guess we are all constantly changing as surely as time goes by.

How do you know that you've changed?  And how do you know that it's a good change?

挑戰

我記得很久以前，一個朋友提起女歌手Pink在結婚後有一陣子因為跟老公甜甜蜜蜜過得很幸福，結果竟然寫不出什麼好歌，所以她決定有時候還是得找機會跟老公吵吵架。雖然我忘記朋友為何會提起這件事情，但是我記得我聽完之後的總結是：這個故事簡單的說就是，過得太開心會阻礙創意和藝術，所以不能讓自己過得太幸福。

為什麼會在這個時後提起這件事情呢？因為我發現我真的是很久沒有更新我的部落格了，而且我真的有在更新的時候，都是稍微沒有過得很開心的時候。雖然說我的潑文大多沒什麼創意也不是什麼藝術作品，但是大多數時候想法都寫不出來也太糟糕了。其實最主要原因是因為大家都各自有各自的生活，部落格也沒有什麼人在看，然後過去這一年又很忙，所以才沒什麼在更新（怎麼說呢？真是個愛現的人）。

所以我想給自己一個挑戰（潑文的主題終於出現了！）－就是多多更新。一來可以記錄自己的生活，也不會讓想法漸漸鈍去，麻木的過著一分一秒。所以，如果你偶爾想起我的部落格，來看的時後卻又沒有更新，請用翻桌和摔碗的方式提醒我不要再麻木了！

泡泡糖

＂一個住了九年的城市 因為你變得新鮮
而整條街 都是泡泡糖的香氣
天空也泛著絢爛的艷紅＂

這是去年５月２１日，我在網誌上隨手打下未送出的文字。

快ㄧ年了耶。我想今年的街上，也還是有著泡泡糖的香氣吧！

結

生命中有些事, 真的是很無可奈何

就好像打了死結之後, 又再纏繞了好幾圈, 猙獰的連最先的死結都看不見,

只剩下一團沒有韌性, 沒有功能的線, 委屈的掙扎著

而我, 是冷眼旁觀的那個人, 還是急著幫忙解結, 卻使它越纏越緊的愚鈍的手?